Power of Gratitude
Last year some of my Love Notes were focused on the Power of Hope, the Power of Surrender, and the Power of Faith, This Note is dedicated to the Power of Gratitude.
I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for being part of my community— opening my emails, sending positive energy and prayers, connecting in real time and online.What do you have in your life right now for which to be grateful?Whom can you thank today?
Showing gratitude increase your chances of receiving more of it and can improve all your relationships.
As I continue to help individuals and couples to communicate with more compassion, I realize how much the words “thank you” (and “I’m sorry”) have the power to change lives.
It allows us to focus on the “half fullness” instead of the missing half.
And, of course, what we focus on can increase by virtue of our attention and intention of creating more.
What words of gratitude can you share with someone today – right now?
You can start here – with appreciation for yourself.
Thank you for being the wonderful person that you are.Thank you for all you do to help others.Thank you for all you want to share with the world.Thank you for being willing to grow and learn.Thank you, for allowing yourself to feel your feelings and express your needs.Thank you for accepting and forgiving any ways in which you fall short of your own judgments and self criticisms.
Thank you, Linda, for taking care of your body, mind and spirit.Thank you for the light you bring to all who know you.
Thanks again for EVERYTHING!Much love and gratitude,
Please feel free to SHARE or FORWARD to anyone who might benefit from the information or support available.As the holidays approach, some relationships can become more challenging.
I am passionate about helping individuals, couples and families to communicate with more compassion and empathy.
I have spent the last five years learning how to go online to reach you wherever you are in world.
As my personal thank you, I want to be of service as much as I can.Some of my FREE GIFTS include:
- Compassionate Mediation® Book, free chapter.
- and much more at www.LindaKroll.com
ONLINE PRIVATE SESSIONS and GROUP PROGRAMS
(All of following are being offered at a special price.)
Talk with Me!
I am passionate about helping people add more empathy and compassion to their relationships.
Compassionate Mediation® helps individuals and couples resolve conflict from their highest and best SELF.If you’d like some individual support, schedule a private 30 minute session with me here.
Compassionate Mediation® ONLINE!
If you are having challenges in your relationship – wanting to make it better, feeling stuck, planning to separate, in the middle of or past a divorce — get guidance and support in my online video Compassionate Mediation® Program.
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I’d love to connect with you Live — wherever you are.
You can ask me anything, or send a question to Support@LindaKroll.com. I’ll answer your question Live and send you a link to the replay.
If you “Like” my Facebook Page, I will let you know when I’ll be available, and we can connect in real time.I hope to see you soon!
As a therapist, mediator, attorney, and Chopra Certified Master Teacher of Meditation, Yoga and Ayurveda, I help individuals and couples learn Compassionate Communication for more peace, love and joy.
I am the author of Compassionate Mediation® for Relationships at a Crossroad: How to Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce.
My Kindle book on Compassionate Divorce™::Changing the Face of Divorce, One Heart at a Time is available here:I wish for you more SELF love and compassionas we all become the change we hope to see in the world.Please join me on Facebook
Connect with me on Twitter and get your free e-book Believe in Your SELF here.Please forward this email to anyone who might want to be part of this
HeartCentered Community.
The Power of Hope – When Divorce is an Option
The Power of Hope – When Divorce is an Option
I remember when I said “I do” to my beloved college boyfriend two weeks after I graduated college in 1969. I was filled with hope – hope for the marriage of my dreams, hope for the children we had always wanted, and hope for a home we could share with our families, friends and pets. I was blessed for almost twenty years to see those hopes realized.
And then hope began to fade. (If you are losing hope, I invite you to join me in my view my FREE VIDEO SERIES to learn how you can improve your relationship now.)
When I realized our marriage might not last, I never lost hope. I hoped we could find a way around our individual differences. Even as we separated, I hoped we could find our way back to each other and keep our family intact.
Ten years into the separation, I still hoped our divorce would be different, better, more loving than much of the previous decade had been. After we got divorced, I hoped time would heal the wounds caused by the process we had endured. Twenty years after that, I am still hoping things will get better.
The Power of Hope. Or denial. Or refusal to accept reality. Or an opportunity to show courage and confidence in the face of rejection and despair.
Maybe hope is the optimistic expectation that the change you desire is still possible so that you can maintain the fortitude to move forward with trust and faith. There is indescribable power in hope.
I see it with all of my clients. Some come to see me, hopeful that they can improve their lives, either alone or within their relationships. Others arrive with their partners, hoping to restore the love that brought them together when they said “I do.” Sometimes the hope is that they can dissolve their marriage without the warfare, bloodshed, and collateral damage to their children that many divorces can cause.
Hope is what gets them to my office. Hope is what I offer. Hope for a resolution to their relationship that was better than my own. But it’s not just hope I share. I share the wisdom of many teachers, mentors, guides and processes.
And that’s what I’d like to share with you. HOPE and WISDOM when divorce is an option.
When the love begins to fade in a relationship –for whatever reason — a sense of gloom begins to build. Some people are aware of the shift and do what they can to work through it – individual counseling, couples counseling, sometimes separating to focus on their own issues for awhile. Or they get a divorce, often too quickly and with too much acrimony and drama.
When you feel “stuck” in a relationship that is no longer meeting your needs or desires. that state of limbo can be painful. In fact, of all of my clients, the ones who are not sure if they want to stay or go seem to suffer the most.
They are locked in a no-win situation, where they can’t take a step closer to their partners – either because their hearts are walled or the filters through which they judge the other are clouded with blame. Or they can’t take a step away because of fear or guilt or worry about their future or their children.
Being at a crossroads without a clear direction gives them a sense of hopelessness which leads to inertia and despair.
Hope and wisdom — with inspired action — is so powerful.
It’s like giving a poor man a fishing pole instead of a fish.
It’s like offering a map to someone lost in the desert.
It’s like a finding a bridge off an island of pain to a better place.
HOPE. (deep breath). HOPE. That’s what I want to share with you now.
If you are – or know someone who is
Considering a separation
Contemplating a divorce
Going through a divorce
Still suffering from a divorce in the past
Let’s offer you or them some HOPE today. Hope and wisdom which can lead to inspired action.
You can take the Unhappy Marriage Quiz to review your relationship and then join me on my free webinar “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” — Five Vital Questions to Help You Know! to learn how to make things better starting now!
Get a copy of my book for yourself or to share with someone who needs the support. Compassionate Mediation for Relationships at a Crossroad: Add Passion to Your Marriage or Compassion to Your Divorce .
Compassionate Communication and Compassionate Mediation® can heal and transform your relationship when hope and wisdom lead to inspired action steps in the direction of the highest good for all concerned.
Hope can move you from heartache to healing to happiness. One step at a time. I'd love to help you on your path.
Gratitude Heals Relationships
Gratitude changes everything!
In working with hundreds of individuals and couples, I often marvel at the mistakes they keep making when they are relating to their partner.
• They think they are being honest, when they are being judgmental.
• They believe they are being authentic, when they are unforgiving.
• They stay angry and resentful, waiting for their partner to change.
• They ruminate on their partner’s past mistakes and project that same behavior in the future.
• They only look at the relationship from their own perspective, without truly considering their partner’s feelings, needs and desires.
Do you do any of that in your relationship? If so, you’re probably feeling sad, discontent, or unhappy.
The needs of the heart are Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, and Affection.
Failure to offer them (when you truly would like more as well), leads to separations, break-ups and divorce.
But you don’t have to make the mistakes you might be making.
A “gaffe” is defined as a “stupid or careless mistake, for example when you say or do something that offends or upsets people.”
I am using that acronym as a reminder of what is needed for true healing and transformation to occur.
• Gratitude
• Acceptance
• Forgiveness
• Faith
• Empathy
At some point in a relationship, you have a choice to complain, make things better, or leave.
Try GAFFE before you decide.
Gratitude
Have full/half empty.
As you replace your discontent, disapproval, desire to change – with GRATITUDE, you’ll see an immediate shift in your relationship.
Sam Keen has said, “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”
Look through the lens of gratitude for what is instead of judgment for what is lacking.
Acceptance
You are powerless to change anyone else.
When you offer acceptance (instead of judgment or blame), it changes the energy between you, and your partner can feel seen and appreciated and possibly grow more into who you need them to be.
On the other hand, you can accept someone and still choose not to stay with them. If you accept first, it makes the parting kinder and more respectful, instead of angry and retributive.
Accept first, decide what to do later.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
You don’t need a scorecard to keep you strong enough to leave.
Start over, with a clean slate and an open heart.
Then if you are not compatible, you can be free of the pain and resentment and end the relationship with calm, clear, confident choices.
Faith
Just because things happened or were missing in the past doesn’t mean that is how it will always be.
Have faith things can change and work out for the highest good for all concerned.
You can stay open to possibilities when you are not perseverating about the past or worrying about the future.
Empathy
Seek to understand even if you don’t feel understood.
When you are willing to look at the situation from your higher Self, which includes looking at it through your partner’s eyes, you will soften in your approach, and allow miracles to occur
You can do this. You can also offer Gratitude, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Faith and Empathy to yourself as well as your partner.
Everyone is doing the best they know how to do according to their level of awareness at the time.
Start over.
Bring the love and light that you are into your current relationship, and watch what happens.
I’m here to help.
Let’s book a time to chat: https://go.oncehub.com/ChatWithLinda
Learn more about the Certification at www.LindaKroll.com/Certify
To learn more about the process, get a free Roadmap at www.LindaKroll.com/Roadmap
If you want help for yourself, please see
www.CompassionateMediation.INFO
Get a free relationship assessment here www.LindaKroll.com/ra
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Believe in Your SELF
No matter what has happened in your life or relationships,
You already have everything you need
to come home to your SELF.
Hi, and welcome. I am so happy you are here.
After all that has challenged us in the last year, I want to take a few minutes to help you access your highest and best Self.
Your SELF and Your “Parts”
I believe we all have a healthy SELF. When we are in SELF we are calm, clear, compassionate. Do you know those moments?
They are usually just moments. We are not always “in SELF.” We are often blended with our PARTS.
Think of your PARTS as the different voices you hear in your head.
Sometimes a Part of you wants to make one choice and you have another voice with a different thought or feeling about it.
There are three categories of PARTS
- EXILES
- MANAGERS
- EXTREME
The EXILES are the parts we learned in childhood weren’t going to get our needs met. If we felt sad, scared, hurt, vulnerable–we didn’t want to feel that way, so we pushed those feelings aside. Some of us exiled our anger too, because it wasn’t safe to express it.
The Exiles often wonder, “What about me? Who is going to love and care for me the way I need?”
We often store the energy of the EXILE’S pain somewhere in our bodies. We don’t want to feel the emotional burdens of the EXILES, so we figure out ways to MANAGE.
We go into our heads, and with the help of our Egos, we create the PARTS of us we show the world. We can learn to be nice, pleasing, caretaking.
We can become hardworking, judgmental, blaming. Some of us manage our exiled pain and sadness by becoming angry.Many of us put on what I call a “pseudo-self” when we try to look like we’re “in SELF,” but those EXILED feelings of sadness, fear, or anger are still very present and churning.
When the energy of those EXILES threatens to upset our internal system, and our MANAGERS can no longer contain them and protect us, we have EXTREME parts that activate to numb using some way.
We choose behaviors that take the focus off our EXILE’s pain and give us moments of escape. Some people get addicted to some of those behaviors –with alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, staying busy, staying in bed, putting up internal walls, getting enraged.
When the EXTREME parts take over, we continue to ignore those EXILED parts and just focus on the EXTREME behaviors –and then the guilt and shame we have because of that behavior –but we effectively continue to ignore the feelings of our Inner Child.
There are ways to unburden that original pain. The first step in letting it go is to acknowledge that it is there. No running away or avoidance or pushing it aside.
You offer loving Compassionate Communication from your Highest SELF to those hurting parts that need and want YOUR attention.You may not have received that attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance as a child, but you can now.
Your parents or caregivers did the best they knew how to do, considering their upbringings and their level of awareness at the time.
Now you can do better.
You can give yourself the compassion, love, attention, and validation you have always wanted.
You can forgive yourself for all choices –the ones you made and the ones you avoided.
You can accept yourself for who you are now –knowing that you are doing the best you know how to do, and you can grow more from self-love and self-care than you can from self-doubt and criticism.
You can begin to COMMUNICATE more COMPASSIONATELY with yourself in every thought you think.
And you can accept and love all of your Parts,which are ALL trying to protect you in some way. They are locked in jobs they have been doing all your life.
Once you give your PARTS all the attention they need to unburden the pain from the past, they carry their own wisdom and light.
You can start to speak FOR your PARTS,rather than FROM your parts.You can rescue your Inner Child from any painful or traumatic event and remind him or her that you survived and how far you have come from that experience.
You can tap into your connection to your faith, your soul, your spirit,and remember there is an infinite source of unconditional love, acceptance, compassion and forgiveness available to you by just remembering it’s there.
When you OPEN yourself to RECEIVE that Spiritual connection of love, faith and your divine essence, you just shine that light on your Internal System of PARTS, and shower yourself with love.
As you become more compassionate and loving towards all parts of yourself, you will have more compassion and love to share with the people closest to you –and with the world.
When your Parts feel YOUR attention, affection,appreciation and acceptance, they are free to evolve.
Your Inner Critic can change to a loving Inner Coach.
Your Rage can turn into your Boundary Monitor, helping you learn how to say “no” when “no” is what you prefer, and how to leave situations that aren’t in your highest good.
Your Protective Parts can shift and change and calm and connect.
There doesn’t have to be an internal polarity because they all have a seat at the table, but YOU, coming from your Highest Self, connected to your Divine Spirit –YOU are in charge.
Over time, your Parts learn to trust You in SELF, and you feel more calm, clear, compassionate, curious, creative, connected, grateful, peaceful, joyful, and loving.
Here are some ways to get to SELF:
Roads Lead to Self: How to Attain Inner Guidance
Angels
Art
Ask for it
Body Scan
Breathe
Channeling
Children
Collage Making
Coloring
Connecting
Dance
Deep Breathing
Drawing
Dreams
Flowers
Focusing
Guided Imagery
Intuition
Journaling
Knowing Place
Labyrinth
Letting Go
Listening
Loving
Mandala
Mantra
Meditation
Miracles
Movement
Music
Nature
Nia
Painting
Parts -‐sending love
Pause
Pets
Prayer
Private Place
Running
Silence
Singing
Sleeping
Slowing Down
Solitude
Space
Sports
Stars
Surrender
Sweat Lodge
Synchronicity
Swimming
Tai Chi
Talking
Qigong
Quiet Mind and Body
Walking
Workshops
Writing
Yoga
MEDITATION
When you learn to meditate, you practice being in the silence that exists between your thoughts.
It allows you to access your true SELF, divine SELF, or spirit, and begin to make choices that align with your true purpose and joy.
You stop the attention you give to your “monkey mind”and habitual thoughts.
You learn how to be here now, love what is, and be the calm in the middle of the storm.
You learn how to look at life from a higher state of consciousness, where you are no longer reacting from a fight/flight or freeze state.
You learn how be less reactive, more responsive, intuitive and creative.
You learn that you can’t solve a problem from the level of awareness that created the problem.
You have to look at a situation from SELF, understanding your parts and others’ parts.
You can have compassion for all of them, and then make your decisions from the highest and best part of yourself, knowing in your soul that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.
And we are all doing the best we know how to do.
Meditation allows us to have more direct access to SELF.
The more we meditate, the more SELF we can experience and share.
When there is a critical mass of SELF-present, no matter where it comes from or who is showing it, the situation can shift and become more calm and connected immediately.
If you are talking to a spouse, a child, a parent, a loved one,a co-worker, a friend, being in SELF fosters Compassionate Communication.
Being in SELF:
Understand Your Parts
Meditate
Take a Breath
You can get to SELF by unburdening your parts, by practicing meditation, and by taking one breath to get to that stillness within.
TAKE ONE BREATH
For just a moment, I’d like you to notice your body. Just focus inward and scan your body from the top of your head to the soles of your feet, and just notice. Notice any tension or tightness, now notice what you are feeling or thinking. Just notice.
There may be some tightness in your jaw, shoulders, neck, stomach. You may feel some tension in your head, hands, chest. Just notice.
Now please take a breath. One conscious breath.Inhale, hold, exhale, hold. Once more. One deep breath. Inhale, hold, exhale, release.
Inhale “peace”, exhale “love”. Inhale “love”, exhale “peace”.
One breath. Let go.You’re already more in SELF.
For a few seconds you got present, tuned into your body, stopped thinking about any problem, and allowed yourself to just be here now.
You can get to SELF by:
Unburden Your Parts
Meditate
Take a Conscious Breath
Gratitude
GRATITUDE
One other way to get to SELF is to be GRATEFUL. When you are aware of your blessings, no matter what the external situation seems to be, you can come back to that awareness of all the miracles that are currently available,and compassionately communicate with yourself and the world.
One moment at a time, one person at a time, we can become the change we hope to see.
When you believe in your SELF — and stay in constant contact through understanding and loving your Parts — meditate, breathe, and be grateful, life becomes more peaceful, loving and filled with joy.
The SELF in me recognizes and cherishes the beautiful and Divine SELF that is YOU!
Namaste.
Sending you much love,
Linda
How to Love Your SELF
1. Think of all the things you've always wanted to do if you had time. Do one -or don't.
2. Get in bed and vegetate. Don't be afraid you'll never get out again. You will
3. Rent movies.
4. Read -a magazine, poetry, a good book, anything.
5. Get a manicure, pedicure, massage -or give yourself one
.6. Plan a trip, a spa-day, a bus ride, a day off, a lunch date. (Call a travel agent to consider a vacation).
7. Give yourself permission NOT TO: bake, cook, clean, shop, or do laundry, dishes, or ironing.
8. Get used to the novelty of deciding what you want to do –and doing some of it.
9. Let go of expectations of yourself and others.
10. Change your paradigm.
11. Set aside some time to be sad, if you want to.
12.Cry.
13.Call a friend or family member.
14.Write a letter, note, poem, short story, your novel.
15.Learn to understand yourself.
16. Join Al Anon or AA.
17. Go to extra meetings.
18. Buy a present for yourself.
19. Make something special to eat — just for you.
20. Get in bed and eat chocolate.
21.Find a new hobby.
22.Play the piano.
23. Paint, color.
24. Think about classes you may want to take and look through catalogues.
25. Entertain.
26. If you do entertain, make it as easy on yourself as possible — paper plates, pot luck.
27. Exercise (walk, yoga, pilates, bike, swim, lift weights, dance!)
28. Breathe deeply, often.
29. Meditate.
30. Hire a babysitter and go out — or stay home.
31. Ask the kids to tuck you in.
32. Take your pet for a walk.
33. Go to a park and swing –or slide!
34. Take a bath.
35. Volunteer.
36.Say “no” when you don't want to do something.
37.Journal.
38.Give yourself permission to do what you want, when you want, with whom you want.
39Connect with your Inner Child. Give him or her a hug.
40.Listen to his/her feelings to help heal. Empower him/her to have fun and to feel safe, calm, and happy.
Linda Kroll LCPC,JD
Therapist, Mediator, Attorney
As a therapist, mediator and attorney, I have shared Compassionate Communication with thousands of men and women for over 20 years.
I have had the privilege of learning from Dr, Richard Schwartz, Founder of Internal Family Systems and became a Certified IFS Practitioner. I later completed five years of study with Deepak Chopra, David Simon, davidji, and the other wonderful instructors at the Chopra Center University to become a Vedic Master, a teacher of meditation, yoga and perfect health.
I have been mentored by SARK, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, who adds fun and play with all that she joyfully creates.
I am a Level Two Reiki Master, grateful lifelong learner, who has had the benefit of many wise teachers and guides.
Today, I am grateful to work with hundreds of women and men as they learn to treat themselves with more kindness and respect so they have more to share with others.
As I have become more SELF-led, I am calmer, clearer and more compassionate with myself and others.
I began to heal from the experiences of my past and understand and accept all parts of myself.
I feel more inner peace and happiness and would love to help you feel the same.
My hope is that you take care of your SELF so that you can communicate with honesty and empathy.
As your relationship with your SELF improves, you will feel more peace, love and joy in all your relationships.
Free Book Chapter
Compassionate Communication Care Kit
Free Compassionate Mediation® Roadmap
