Trust is often a goal sought after by coaches and leaders who want to better connect with individuals or teams they are working with. But trust isn’t built in a day, nor is it easily done. Sometimes, individuals may be quite set in their ways, which can hinder compromise and forward progression.
In order to succeed, coaches and leaders need to learn how to build trust and to help people become more flexible. But what specific steps should you take if you’re encountering pushback or an inflexible attitude? Below, nine members of Forbes Coaches Council share their best trust-building strategies for those tricky professional situations, to help you navigate some of the tougher aspects of the job. Here's what they advise:
1. Ask Questions, Then Listen
I've found the most effective way to get past pushback is to ask questions, and, more importantly, to listen to the responses without comment. Allow for silence and the client will come to their own conclusions. Ask questions such as, "What's at risk if nothing changes?" "What are you not getting to by focusing on this approach?" or "How's that working for you?" Powerful questions can help elicit the change needed. - Morag Barrett, SkyeTeam
2. Have Your Team’s Back
In a team coaching client ROI study, we found that trust was built when things went wrong. The study showed that the way the team members responded when a team project failed, was the catalyst for building trust in a previously low-trust team. The takeaway? Trust is built when others experience a time you have their back. - Lisa Ann Edwards, Lisa Ann Edwards
3. Find Areas To Help
Keep drilling down and ask for specific and measurable details on what they are doing and how they plan on doing something. It is much easier to dive in and find the areas you can help someone when their roadmap is clear. When you can point out the gaps and be a strategic partner to help your team achieve their goals, bring clarity to their plan and guidance on their next steps, everyone wins! - Jon Dwoskin, The Jon Dwoskin Experience
4. Establish A New Mindset
Resistance to change occurs when people fear that they will fail. Even though many changes take place daily in their lives from birth to death, people believe change is hard. It is important to affect change by establishing a new mindset that welcomes it. Leaders can build trust by speaking about how change can be easy and about how they experienced positive outcomes by the changes they made. - Christine Silverstein, The Summit Center for Ideal Performance
5. Prioritize Security And Confidence
Take them through exercises and facilitate conversations that allow them to realize that everyone is fighting the same battle they are. We are all doing things to meet our security and confidence needs, and sometimes our dominant patterns of behavior align with others' needs and sometimes they don't. When they do, people are more comfortable and trust is built. When they don't, there is a gap. - Jason Kiesau, JK Leadership
6. Stay Curious, And Ask Thoughtful Questions
All too many leaders skip critical steps in communication with those they want to lead, train and motivate. By staying curious and asking thoughtful questions, people are more likely to engage with one another. Then, by carefully listening to their responses, you will more deeply connect with the person you are speaking with. This builds trust — the foundation of strong lasting relationships. - Jeneen Moretuzzo Masih, JD, LLM, JMM Consulting
Read more in Getting Better Results With Authentically Curious Leadership
7. Understand Where They’re Coming From
You must listen to the client in an understanding and non-judgmental or condescending way. Seek to understand the basis for their push back and show them you value their opinion and input but also seek to explain to them your expertise in this area and ask them to consider looking at things in an alternative way. Make sure you validate their feelings when appropriate. - Tameika Isaac Devine, The Possibilities Institute
8. Focus On Shared Goals Or Wins
Focus on common threads that weave individuals or teams together. Common threads may be shared goals or values, or previous wins the team enjoyed. Show how improved performance depends on the collective experience and contribution from each stakeholder. - Mark Nation, Nation Leadership
9. Hear Them Out With Empathy
Empathy is key to gaining trust and reducing resistance to change. By asking insightful questions, listening beyond words to get to the heart of the matter and reflecting an understanding of the experience of the team or individual, trust often emerges. When we feel that we have been heard, we are much less likely to resist change and much more likely to support our leaders through change. - Barrett McBride, Barrett W. McBride & Associates
